I know the last couple of seasons have been so last season, but bear with me – do you remember watching America’s Next Top Model? My favorite part was make-over time when all of the “beauty queens” – or better yet future drama queens – started to clench their hair and you just knew that the monsoon season is about to start.
Nobody makes such a fuss about plastic surgery though. “Boob job you say? Yes please, slice me right open and stick those saline puppies in!” But what about a haircut? “Well, that’s different. It’s my hair you’re talking about!” Women have no problem changing their outfit, switching up their style, plumping up their lips with collagen injections, but don’t speak to them about cutting hair, no. Forget the fact that it’s painless, costs less and can easily be reversed back to its natural state – don’t mess with the hair, period. I have a friend who’s never had a short haircut or any kind of haircut for that matter. Why? “Because Indians don’t cut their hair. According to their belief, long hair symbolize strong spirit – the longer the hair, the stronger the spirit.” Excuse me? You don’t live in a teepee, you’re not dancing with wolves, at night you’re not chanting by the fire and you’ve never smoked a peace pipe in your life, you smoke Marlboros. Girl. You can cut your hair.
And want to know a secret? It grows back. “What does?” Hair. Yes, it does. Surprisingly so for some of you, but it does. “But mine grows slower than everybody else’s!” No, it doesn’t. Your crop grows just as fast as it does on the rest of our heads, you’re just more impatient. So CUT it, DYE it, SHAVE it, DON’T just trim it! Don’t go to a salon, pay an insane amount of money for nothing, “refresh” your cut, come home and pout because nobody notices any difference – there is none! “Don’t you see, I trimmed my bangs?” No. “Can’t you tell, I dyed it a shade lighter?” No. “Pout.”
It’s just hair – so just do it.
(Every wednesday you’ll be dazzled by our guest blogger Peet. We love Peet! Yaaay!)