I love to think. Chasing thoughts around my head is my favorite pastime activity, which can quickly become a huge pain in the ass. Sometimes the pain escalates all the way to my head… I know excessive and on(and-on)going thinking is actually bad for me since the lack of thoughts is the point of Buddhism, Taoism and may other isms but I can’t help it. One thing is for sure – I’ll never reach nirvana.
The time of year got me reevaluating my perspective on values. Some value love, some value family, some value big shiny things (if they can go fast as well, that’s just an added bonus) and that’s fine. But on the top of my list is none of that. It seems that all of the brain twitches in my head point to one thing – self-sufficiency.
More often than not, it happens that you need somebody. And even more often than that, there’s nobody around to help you. An English poet once wrote “No man is an island”, but I think Mr. Donne got his geography facts mixed up. Or anatomy, I don’t know. I just know that we are exactly that – insularly isolated islands. We do grow apart and draw closer together, but mostly just grow further apart. Just a thought: How many people, to whom you’ve said or wrote “Merry Christmas!” this past week, will you see or know what’s happening in their lives a month from now? I’m telling you – an island. I’ve sure been convinced throughout my life that it’s best to know how to stand on my own two feet.
You can read this and think: “A clear case of daddy issues or boyfriend troubles or abandonment by friends.” And to that I say: Of course. All of that. We’ve all been let down, we’ve all been disappointed, haven’t we? But I don’t feel damaged because of that, I feel stronger. Why do people think that you simply need to learn how to trust others again after you’ve been hurt, when one thing is certain – you can’t trust or depend on anybody but yourself. I, unlike probably most people, find this thought comforting. There’s always somebody there – me. That’s why I think it’s best to be self-sufficient in all aspects of life or at least as many aspects as possible.
Leonardo da Vinci was supposedly the last man on Earth to know everything. Some say it was Francis Bacon, but I’m rooting for da Vinci. I’m a die-hard da Vinci fan, foam finger and everything. Think about it – to know EVERYTHING there is to know about EVERYTHING. If Paris Hilton were to comprehend that, she’d say: “That’s hot.” And I’d agree with her, that’s pure erotica! My holy grail. I’m far from reaching it but I’m happy that I know how to cook and drive and change a tire. How to use a washing machine (without shrinking and discoloring side effects) and a sewing machine, fix the plumbing, built a cabinet, mix concrete, shear my dog’s fur, cut and dye my own hair, not to mention changing a light bulb. This has nothing to do with feminism nor is not an ode to independent ladies everywhere. I just don’t want to be caught unprepared, I’ve seen one too many turned backs.
Although its frequency and severity varies, help is something that everybody needs and I’m not trying to say that I don’t. But would I rather not need help? Absolutely. When you ask for help you get called needy or incompetent or lazy. So why not push dependency to the fringes of history and make it obsolete? I’m telling you – self-sufficiency is the new black.
You can see a few more pics here.